By Melissa Reese / Guidely
Why Fear Is A Choice And The Best Ways To Respond To It
Only sometimes is fear not a choice. But we always have a choice in how we respond to it.
Sometimes fear is a choice and sometimes it is not. When fear is not a choice, it is imperative that we know how to respond to it appropriately. We can learn how to befriend our fear, how to manage our fear, how to navigate our fear, and how to cultivate and engage our courage by better understanding the fear that we do choose in life.
Often, fear is simply an illusion. We think this illusion is reality, when in fact it is only manufactured. We are the manufacturers, producers, and distributors of our own fear.
Fear can come from feelings of:
- Unworthiness
- Inadequacy
- Feeling less than
- Not being good enough
- Feeling unlovable
- Envy
- Bitterness
- Resentment
- Grief, and pain
Judgment is Fear
As humans, we have an unhealthy tendency to judge others, and ourselves. Judgment is fear’s calling card. Our judgment of something determines our perception, opinion, and feelings [about it].
Judgment is fear. Deciphering is different than judging.
Deciphering – Seeks to separate truth from lies, illusions, fear, and finding the LOVE.
Judgment – Seeks to compartmentalize, scrutinize, impugn, and penalize anything and everything, regardless of whether it’s a truth or lie. It does not seek to understand the difference. Judgment diminishes our courage.
We don’t choose fear when we are being chased, attacked, threatened, or the like. But, our fear is not bigger than us. We can use our mind, our breath, and our heart to help regulate our nervous system and quell the fear; thus being better able to navigate through it. It takes practice to learn how to navigate fear, and that practice is how we cultivate our courage.
Fear is restrictive while love is expansive. The better we can learn to expand in, and with LOVE, the more we push fear out, and better able to conquer it.
Courage tells love, “I believe”
Overcome any fear with the courage to connect with love and sync your breath, heart, and mind. Love never judges, never hates, never blames, never demeans, never exploits, never hurts, never avenges or revenges, and is void of suffering.
Cultivating courage means doing the work. You work within yourself to decipher where your judgments lie, what your beliefs really are, what your truth is, and what your individual and unique gifts are. It means you take the time to learn and understand yourself on such a deep level that you are aware of any and all shifts within you, and are able to find the meaning and purpose behind them, as well as navigate these shifts, in the moment, as they happen, in a healthy and nourishing way. You are able to catch yourself when you slip and redirect accordingly.
Learning how to connect with LOVE and sync your breath and heart while encouraging your mind to be still, as if staring in awe at beautiful scenery, is the best way to take charge of your fear (or really any out-of-control emotion). You liberate yourself when you know how to regulate yourself. Practicing breath work, meditation, and presence will help you in fully experiencing your freedom and options; better able to courageously express your strength, authenticity, wisdom, and more resilient Self.
To paraphrase Nelson Mandela:
“Courage is not the absence of fear and despair, but the ability to conquer them”.
We choose fear:
- When we stay closed minded…
- When we judge…
- When we are not open to new information…
- When we are unwilling to try and better understand…
- When we close ourselves off to new information…
- When we refuse to see another’s point-of-view…
- When we adhere to archaic and outdated beliefs…
- When we choose to stay ignorant
- When we retaliate
- When what we believe, say, and do harmfully impacts fellow beings
- When we don’t question if our beliefs belong to us or if we somehow took them on and/or inherited them
- When we don’t understand our own Truth and our own deepest values
- When we fail to even try
Where in your life are you choosing fear? How can you better engage your courage to navigate and even eliminate your illusionary fear?
We all have a choice to choose LOVE over fear, to choose courage over fear, to choose kindness over fear, to choose learning over fear, and to choose compassion over fear.
We choose LOVE:
- When we stay open and curious to ourselves and others (objective vs. subjective)
- When we look at any situation or person (including ourselves) with grace, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness
- When we genuinely want to do our best to understand
- When we understand our own unique deepest Truths and values, and honor our Self
- When we rejoice in the awe of resilient nature
- When we rejoice in the awe of our multi-capable and resilient Self
- When we seek all kinds of new information and understand our full comprehension is limited
- When we choose courage and engage it
- When we experience deep gratitude
What will you choose?
Expand with LOVE, never restrict with fear.
